Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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