I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
