Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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