I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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