I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
