Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
