then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
