Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
