So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
