my soul wont recognize me after tonight
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
