so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
