If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
