i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
