You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize