jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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