i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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