I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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