Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
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