I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
