It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize