I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
