I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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