The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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