So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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