i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
it was like eating out sand paper
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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