I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize