hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
