His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
