I want to make a zoo with you.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
