Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize