I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
