You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Randomize
