he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
