i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Sorry about my life...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
