It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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