I think i peed on brittanys purse
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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