Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
