Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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