There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Randomize
