Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
