i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I want to have your abortion
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
