What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
He has the fingertips of a God
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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