I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
