Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize