Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
