I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had sex on a roof
I love you. Go after that dick
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