i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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