when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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