I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I need to sanitize my soul.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
