I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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