im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
