Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
