why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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