There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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