Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
