Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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