That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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