Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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