I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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